Home sweet home. Who would have guessed that this hotel offers one of the best public shitters in the neighborhood! After a disappointing and hurried sacrifice at Toast, I knew there would be another offering as the day progressed. The problem, as always, would be finding a suitable temple. A Ben and Jerry's banana milk shake at The Grove didn't help matters and by the time I had walked back to 3rd street I was at an elevated Code Red. Toast was a no go. There was no way I was risking waiting in line for a half hour or more. My wife, god bless her, suggested I try The Orlando hotel. The friendly woman at check-in didn't even blink when I asked to use the facilities. "2nd Floor, make a right, shit as long as you like," she said with a smile. Or at least the shit as long as you like part. I made a beeline up to the 2nd floor and found a glorious, empty, well-lit, three ply, single stall, shit station of the gods waiting for me. If crappers were universities than I had been given a full fecal fellowship and by Zeus I was going to take advantage of it!
For a good half hour I enjoyed absolute silence and quiet contemplation. The world outside melted away as I let my mind drift and my body do its thing. Above average toilet paper, soft lighting, and absolute privacy were all I needed to erase the bad memory of Toast. Thank you, Orlando Hotel. I owe you!
No comments:
Post a Comment