REI Outfitters @ 4th St. and Santa Monica Blvd.

The combination of pricey holiday shopping and rich, buttery foods have been tricky on the Crapspotters tender Yiddish stomach, and I found myself in desperate need of a public drop off center for the second time in one day. It should be mentioned that I don't love making in public. It's a rushed, harried, unenjoyable business that, if it weren't for a very sensitive and demanding digestive tract, I would gladly avoid. However, I sincerely believe that by sharing information on the world's best public restrooms I, and others like me, can improve our plight. Information is knowledge, knowledge is power, poop is brown and firm when it's healthy according to my mom.

Standing equidistant from Banana Republic and REI, I did a mental coin flip and opted for the latter. I'm also a member there and believe, although not too strongly, that the busier the place looks the better it is for business and that this somehow translates into good things for me. Like future discounts on items such as Xenon camping headlamps. Which if you know me at all, know how important they are to my lifestyle.

Although my supple, perfectly sculpted behind had graced the faux-porcelain here on prior occasions, I had never taken the time to really study the space. First off, and most importantly, THE RESTROOMS ARE COIN OPERATED. Not necessarily a deal breaker, but seeing as you can only get said coins from the cashiers located on the first floor, it's important to stop by and see them first. I'm pretty sure anyone who asks can have a coin, but this may not be true. If it were, why would they require a coin in the first place? Who won't they give a coin to? As my bowels were already at Code Red, I decided not to find out, smiled politely and gratefully received my ticket to slide.

On the plus side, the double stalls are both spacious and well maintained. There was ample toilet paper and my particular recepticle even had a back up roll. Both rolls were industrial size, approzimately 10" in diamater, so there's little chance of ever running out.

Somewhat negatively, the hand soap provided by the company is generic, unscented, commercial grade, and it left my hands feeling dry and unloved. I understand the economics of providing quality hand soap aren't necessarily in a profitable company's best interest, but something like Dr. Bronner's (a quirky, low-cost, biodegrable and high quality soap they already carry) would add a nice touch.

All in all, this is a pleasant spot for relaxing your sphincter. Just remember to get the coin before heading upstairs and you'll be good to go.