Friday, December 29, 2006

A Clean, Well-Lighted Place for Crapping - Banana Republic @ The Third St. Promenade


Located on the Southwest corner of Wilshire and the 3rd St. Promenade, this gem of a shitter has been delighting urethras and anuses alike since opening its stall doors for business in 1999. The bathrooms are privately located down the stairs on the basement level. The toilet-paper is two-ply and soft enough for up to four wipes for even those with the most tender of turd canals.

Beware, if you have to go really badly, the men's restroom features only one crapper. A good rule of thumb for approaching this location is to assume it's occupied, that way your sphincter is pleasantly surprised if it's not.

As of this post, there are no paper towels, only air-dryers at this location. Wait time is less than one minute.

6 comments:

Ian Kalman said...

I can attest to this "spot to crap."

I've crapped there on more than one occasion. And if you're just in the mood for a light piss, the urinals are top notch as well.

I'd like to recommend a review of "It's a Grind" on Polk street @ Washington in San Francisco.

Not only does it have free wireless, but the bathroom is clean and a believer in the 2-ply rule.

Good work on the site.

I can't imagine anyone ever reading your site, but it's refreshing that you care so much.

A.G. said...

Ian, thank you for your comments. As a former citizen of Sourdough City, I can attest to the superior quality of the fecal depositories at "It's a Grind." In fact, back in 2003 I remember loading up on one too many cappucinos and having to make multiple transactions in a single day. As you stated, the toilet paper there is top notch and I escaped with nary a rugburn on my tender behind.

The Olson World Press said...

Dear Grossdog,

What do I do if there is a people magazine on the floor of my office restroom?
It's there every week, on the floor in stall #2. I mean, I want to read it but I'm afraid.

Purell User

A.G. said...

Liz, while bathroom reading is not my area of expertise, per say, I do happen to know more than a little on the subject and agree that a little bit of light reading helps the poop go down.

That said, if you already have Purell on your side, by all means read away! I mean, it kills 99.9% of germs, right? If that .1% is meant to get you, it's going to get you and there's nothing you can do about it.

Thanks for writing!

Anonymous said...

I find hotels are a great place to make boom-booms. Perhaps you can include some in your future reviews. Thanks for these tips, you are my fecal hero!

A.G. said...

Hotels are ideal crapperies. A favorite that comes to mind is the Plaza Hotel in New York. Entering from the easternmost door on Central Park South, one can find a quiet, relatively unknown gem of a crapper with, if I remember correctly, more than 4 stalls!