Above all else, the Crapspotter looks for one thing in his casas de crap— easy accessibility. Because no matter how soft the toilet paper is, how pretty the dim, recessed lighting makes my already gorgeous visage appear, or how enticing the slightly yellowed, abandoned sports page on the floor might be, none of this matters if you can't get your ass on the seat. Quickly and inconspicuously (more on this last point later).
To this end, Echigo is the golden mean. In the over thirty times I've eaten at this super delicious sushi joint (just east of Bundy on Santa Monica) I've never had to wait to go to the toilet. Granted, their digs aren't fancy, but as I said, who cares? Crapping in public isn't about style, it's about substance. And it's about anonymity (like I said, more on this later). In fact, as far as I can tell, I'm the only person to have ever taken a crap here. Isn't that amazing? Think about it. Chances are I'm wrong, and there are in fact thousands of others who have shit here before me, but what if I'm not? Wow, how cool. Echigo's shitter exists only for me. Stew on that one, Descartes.
So if you're ever in the mood for the most incredible omakase lunch special $12 can buy, or simply need a reliable place to dump your mochi, Echigo is the place. And as far as the anonymity goes, you'll crap peacefully knowing that I'm the only other person to patronize the joint.
4 comments:
Dear Crap Spotter,
After reading your blog for an entire week now, I feel I must ask you a question...
Do you have a toilet at your house?
And if so, why don't you ever go to the bathroom in your own bathroom?
And also, why no review of yours?
I'm worried about you.
Dear Ian,
All good questions. The answer, simply, is that while I love my bathroom above and beyond all others, it is not a public restroom at this time. From the inception of this blog I dedicated myself to only reviewing bathrooms from the people, for the people. If, however, circumstaces change and my wife and I decide to open up our toilets to the public, believe me, a speedy, accurate, and honest review will follow.
Sincerely,
The Crapspotter
Dear Crapspotter,
Sorry to burst your bubble, but I took a crap on that toilet just before Christmas. It was a splatterfest, too. I guess the restaurant just does a good job cleaning.
Sincerely,
The The Rhetorical Letter Writer
Hey does anyone remember when The Crapspotter would post a new listing every day? Maybe even twice if he had a banana smoothie.
I was just thinking about that.
There's a rumor going on that he was abducted because of a bad review in Skokie, Illinois.
If you know where he is, please respond to this posting.
#1, because I'm worried about him.
#2, I really have to use a public restroom badly.
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