Mea Crappa

Dear fellow shitters,

Please accept my humblest apologies for my absence. It has been far too long and my remorse runs as deep as my runs.

I only realized how important this site was when I was at the Borders Books here at the 3rd St. Promenade just the other day. It was then that a harried, middle-aged woman rushed in, asking where the bathrooms were. The disinterested employee on hand curtly replied that they were out of order, and went back to alphabetizing, or whatever it is they do there. This poor woman was dying. Like a crap-filled Violet Beauregarde, I could see that her head was about to explode from poop.

And so I did what I do best, and calmly directed her to the Old Navy across the street where two perfectly acceptable bathrooms reside on the second floor, just left of the elevators. If this woman wasn't about to burst from feces, she would have hugged me on the spot. BUT THE STORY DOESN'T END HERE! Another Borders customer heard my sage advice and thanked me as well. It would come in handy, he said. And that's when it struck me. "Crapspotting," is an allegedly humorous blog, but it's way more than that. It's a true public service. There are not nearly enough quality public restrooms in this world, the least we can all do as benevolent human beings is to share our knowledge. After all, knowledge is power. And power is being able to poop in peace. Conversely, by way of Modus Tollens, this may very well also mean that peace is poop masquerading as power. But I flunked logic in college, so don't hold me to that.

LET'S DO THIS, PEOPLE! POOP AWAY! SHARE THE KNOWLEDGE! WASH YOUR HANDS!